Introduction: You’re about t o listen to Spouse Hunting, the podcast that dares to ask the question: Can I use the rules of real estate to find the love of my life?

And then has the audacity to answer… Yes, yes, you can.

I’m your host, Brian Belefant. Licensed Oregon Real Estate Broker.

This is episode three.

Brian Belefant: You can’t start a new relationship until you finish the one you’re in or the one you just had, and sometimes that takes help… That’s why I invited Elizabeth Angelica onto the podcast.

Elizabeth, is a heart healer. When things are  going poorly in a relationship or you’re ending one, she can help you move through the pain and darkness that you experience and put you on a path to create a life of deeply desirous love again.

Brian Belefant: Tell us, where are we finding you today ?

Elizabeth Angelica: Location wise?

Brian Belefant: Yeah.

Elizabeth Angelica: I am in Portland Oregon for the next five or six weeks. And then I’m moving to Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Brian Belefant: Okay. It doesn’t really matter where you are, it’s not… Your work doesn’t require… 

Elizabeth Angelica: No, it doesn’t matter, because I work over Zoom and I will be traveling to teach retreats and do online workshops, and if you’re gonna work with me in person, you’re gonna come for a significant amount of time, like two full days of work with me.

I can reach more people with the work and work with more people in person, ’cause I do love working with people in person. But the sessions over Zoom are just as powerful. And then I can work with people from anywhere. Yeah.

Brian Belefant: So tell me, how did you get started in this line of work?

Elizabeth Angelica: Well, this work that I’m doing is really blending two different things together, I do metaphysical energetic healing and I do sort of psychodynamic coaching, and so when I was in my 20s, my mom got me an appointment with a psychic for my birthday, and she was like… I told her about some physical stuff I was having in my body and she was like, oh, you fix that as a birthday present for you, and she did. Magically, my pain was gone. And I was like, This is something that I really need to look into.

And so I ended up working with her and having magical experiences, the first actual healing session I had with her, after years of chronic pain, I looked up in the sky and saw this giant ball of light and it just whooshed through my body and knocked me onto the ground and I was healed. And I was like, This is amazing. And after my youth of wanting to be a doctor and not… not quite having a math sells for that, I found that I did want to heal people, I just… I only knew that one way up until that time, and so I spent the next 10 years studying metaphysical healing and healing all the things that were coming up in my body, my initiations into energetic and shamanic healing, and then when I was feeling proficient in that, and I was ready for me to shift into more…

I wanted to go to grad school to be a relationship counselor.

Which I think… We all have… Troubles we have in our lives are what we wanna help people with, and so I was like… There was this sort of idea that maybe I could heal my parents’ relationship that had affected me so much, I’m like, Yeah, if I learn how to help other people have good relationships, then I can have a good relationship and maybe that will somehow fix the drama that I grew up in. And so I was going to go to a couple different grad schools, and then I found the tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality, and I went there for two years, and I’ve been integrating the psychodynamic and somatic practices that I learned there with the metaphysical healing work that I do — incredibly deep work that I can take people through now.

Brian Belefant: So just for the people who don’t know what these things are, can you define psychodynamic and metaphysical energetic and somatic?

Elizabeth Angelica: Yeah, yeah. So, right, I guess I always think that people know everything that I know. So somatic means of the body. Soma is the Latin word for body, and so that is diving into your physical sensations, and… When we have a trauma in the body, it could be a big trauma, it could be something little that happened to just something, somebody said something nasty in passing, we take that information into our bodies and hold it there, and that’s why we all have all these different kinds of chronic pain.

Elizabeth Angelica: So you go, you really focus very deeply on the sensations in your body, and there’s ways of working with it with your intention and your consciousness, and even seeing how you can… you can sort of have conversations with these pieces of you and nurture them back into health and wholeness and re-integrate them into your body. I do lot of tantric integration of these pieces of our subconscious and our consciousness that have been split off, that help us feel more whole and more safe, and there’s different… when I said psychodynamic processes, that is part of it, and also there’s other therapies that I use that help us a sort of reprogram our… the way that we think and our subconscious minds, and because we have neuroplasticity, even though we’ve created from thinking the same things and doing the same things over and over and over, we’ve created grooves in our brain, so we do the same things out of habit all the time, and that’s why we keep creating the same things in our life. And so we do processes together that will support you in creating new beliefs so that you’re… so that you can actually receive different things in your life, ’cause you kind of… We project our beliefs out onto the world and the universe is… It’s a bit of a mirror, so it’s gonna give you back whatever you’re thinking, whatever you believe that you deserve, whether you know that you think these things or they’re just subconscious things, you’re putting it out into the world, and so that’s what you’re receiving back, so we do processes where we can change subconscious beliefs and change your thoughts and your habits and create a new life, and metaphysical healing and energetic healing is… It’s tuning in to the grace and the blessings and the miraculous power that the divine holds in shifting all sorts of different things in our lives.

So I work with supporting people in past life healing in ancestral ineage healing, I can go into your DNA and make alterations or trauma healing work.

There’s a lot of trauma healing work in all of the processes that I do, but there is… There is a field of healing energy that I work with, that I can channel and with intention and obviously, a lot of practice and psychice capabilities, that I can work with people to shift things on physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual levels that could possibly take the rest of your life to heal and the sort of magic we can work things faster.

Brian Belefant: So it sounds like a lot of different approaches, and if somebody comes to you and says, I’ve had a pattern of really bad relationships, how do you choose which approach to use? Is it instinct? How do you break that down.

Elizabeth Angelica: It is a lot of instinct, I think when we decide that we’re going to heal, the things that come up in our lives are organized by the divine, that’s like, Okay, this is coming up now in your life, this thing with this person or this belief. You start having epiphanies like, Oh my God, I just realized that I believe this thing. And so we go into those, those things that are happening in your life, or those beliefs that are coming up, the recognition of what’s happening, and we work with those, and there is a step-by-step process, because we’re intending to be very deeply. So there’s a bit of… a bit of knowing what I want to do with people before they come in, because there’s kind of steps, but life is wild and it takes us in all kinds of unexpected directions, so we kinda have to go with the flow with it.

Brian Belefant: Ah. So when it comes to healing, I’m sure like most people… We all try and do it on our own. What do people get wrong? What’s the biggest thing that people get wrong… 

Elizabeth Angelica: Well, I think what people are getting wrong in relationships specifically, is the idea that there’s a person that will… The fairy tale that we’ve all grown up with, that the end of every moving is like a couple kissing and all is well from that point on, and your partner isn’t going to make you feel worthy or loved, or not only for the rest of your life. It’s about healing yourself and what you can actually receive from your partner. I think that there’s a lot of relationships where people are deeply and truly loved by their partner, but they can’t feel it because they don’t hold themselves and that sort of love or worthiness or regard.

And there’s a lot of thinking that your partner should be exactly what you want them to be. Like, I would be happy if you were like this. And again, it’s the same thing, it’s like, well, you would be happy if you could accept that part of yourself that you’re getting this reflection from your partner… 

Brian Belefant: If I can paraphrase, it’s not about a partner completing you, it’s about finding a partner that reflects back to you what you can accept, or maybe I’m not putting the right words to it.

Elizabeth Angelica: It’s that you’re going to get… For the most part, obviously, there are situations where it doesn’t matter what you do, you should not be in that relationship, but you’re going to receive from your partner waht you believe about yourself. You’re going to see in them things that you don’t like about yourself.

Brian Belefant: Okay.

Elizabeth Angelica: And those things that drive you the most crazy, drive you the most crazy because they’re what you are rejecting in yourself. And so the more that you can heal yourself so that you can love of yourself as deeply as possible, the more joy and love and acceptance that you’ll be able to receive from your partner.

Brian Belefant: Okay. That makes sense. So how do you define love?

Elizabeth Angelica: I think… the phrase has been coming to me is “Love is a verb” recently, and I think that it’s a lot about doing what we can to provide our partners with the love that they need. I know we all attract partners that are very opposite from us, and then we all know about love languages, and as it turns out, you’re going to end up with a partner whose love language is the opposite of yours usually, so you have these things that you can heal together, but it’s making the effort to give your partner what is going to make them feel loved, even if that is a little vulnerable or uncomfortable for you. But being there for them in times of celebration and in times of discomfort and crisis and challenge, and just really being as supportive as you possibly can in the way that your partner needs. Not the way that you would like to receive, but how does your partner need to receive this love?

Brian Belefant: It sounds like a lot of what you talk about sort of comes down to trust in a lot of different ways/.

Elizabeth Angelica: Yeah, I think that you can’t have a healthy relationship with our deep trust, because you’re never going to feel safe, and that’s what… I think we’re all looking for a home in our partner, and you need to be able to let your guard down and be yourself and be able to receive the sort of nourishment that you need.

Brian Belefant: That makes sense to me. It makes perfect sense to me. I mean, the way I see it, it sort of feels like two steps, you have to find somebody that is trustworthy and then trust them, just like they have to find you to be trustworthy and they need to trust you. Right?

Elizabeth Angelica: Yeah, I mean, certainly is the intention to find someone trustworthy. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when you get together. 

Brian Belefant: Is there anything anybody can do, people can do everybody could do to improve their chances of success?

Elizabeth Angelica: I think, like I said, you’re intending to find someone that you can trust, someone that you can feel safe with, and I think it’s a lot about intention. Asking yourself what is it that you desire? And with your partner, what is it you desire together to experience? And what do you intend to create together? What do you intend to experience together? Beccause I think that if we have… I think that setting intention is really important. We want to have this ideal, this goal that we’re reaching for, because if we don’t have a direction that we’re moving together, then you’re probably not on the same page and you’re going off in two different directions, and if you are together, where are you even going?

Brian Belefant: That makes sense. So I’m presuming that someday… Let me start out that over. Assuming that you would want to have a headstone, what would it say on it?

Elizabeth Angelica: Interesting question. 

Brian Belefant: Just came to me.

Elizabeth Angelica: Oh, I think I would want to say that I lived 130 years and I was a lover of life. And I helped people create lives of joy and love themselves.

Brian Belefant: Fantastic. Is there anything that you’d like to say? A question that I didn’t ask? That’s something you’d like to add.

Elizabeth Angelica: I too. Don’t think so. 

Brian Belefant: Okay. How can people reach you?

Elizabeth Angelica: People can reach me on my website, ElizabethAngelica-dot-com.

Brian Belefant: That’s all I have. Thank you so much for doing this. I really, really appreciate it!

Elizabeth Angelica: Thank you so much! It was really fun chatting with you.

Brian Belefant: I’ll miss you.

Closing: If you’d like to connect with Elizabeth, go to Spouse Hunting-dot-net, where you’ll find her in the dating resources section. Along with a bunch of other people who can help you be the best person you can be, so you can meet the best person for you. That’s Spouse Hunting-dot-net. Why net? Because finding a partner is way too important to do without a net. Also, dot-com was taken. I’m Brian Belefant. Thank you for listening.